Donegal has recorded its fastest broadband speed to date, with a 128K download speed recorded somewhere outside Creeslough yesterday. This brings the average Donegal broadband speed on par with a second generation Spectrum computer from the 1980s, a new record...
Football is in shock this evening at the discovery of an honest worker at the offices of its governing body, FIFA. According to sources, the discovery was made in Zurich during the late afternoon, when Julie Goodleg, a thirty-six year-old...
A voluntary redundancy scheme announced by Irish Water today will include a Witness Protection Program for any employees who fear for their lives after their friends and neighbours find out they worked for Irish Water. The troubled utility company is planning...
The people of Cork are celebrating today at news that from 2016, Norwegian Air will offer three chances per week to escape their shithole of a county. In a major boost for transatlantic tourism, Cork International Airport will see a...
Google looks set to formally launch its browser crashing service, Google Chrash, after an announcement at a recent web summit. The application will allow the user witness a frozen Google Chrome screen for an undetermined period, while simultaneously showing a...
Fianna Fáil is to officially rebrand as 'The White Catholic Heterosexual Male in the 1950s Party', after formally adopting the policies of a typical white Catholic heterosexual male in the 1950s. The move has been welcomed by grass roots supporters of...
No group is claiming responsibility for a collection of toys found near a pram outside the Northern Irish Assembly at Stormont today, as the political crisis gripping the North’s power-sharing executive takes hold. A local dog-walker raised the alarm in...
An Irish man by the name of Brien O'Denis has been officially awarded the Nation's Favourite Asshole Award 2015. The coveted title, granted to people who excel in the art of squatting down and defecating over an entire country, will be...
Minister for Finance Michael Noonan is in desperate need of some Irish Water today after his pants have spontaneously combusted during a press conference. At the time of combustion, he was busy denying yesterday's Eurostat decision that state utility funding...
As the crisis talks on the future of Greece in the Eurozone continues, news is emerging that the uncertainty over a potential 'Grexit' is to be decided once and for all, over a game of rock-paper-scissors. Ireland's Finance Minister Michael...

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