A traditionalist group campaigning on an isolationist platform that seeks to put Donegal first have this week renewed a promise to build a comprehensive wall around the county in order to secure its borders from foreigners; the group have also controversially claimed that neighbouring county Derry is going to finance the project.

Donegal Dollop managed to get a copy of the group’s political manifesto, which was originally published in 1992 in verse format with accompanying music. In addition to the wall, the group promises to rejuvenate the local economy by liberalising local gambling laws and exploiting valuable precious metals at the site of Errigal Mountain as part of a trade deal with Dublin. They claim their economic policies will turn the northeast of the county into a tempting tax haven for wealthy businessmen.

However, critics have argued the group are cynically trying to cash in on a wave of populism that has swept across the globe in recent months, exemplified most recently by Donald Trump’s election to the White (Supremacy?) House. When asked about their divisive policies, a spokesperson for the group replied “We’re not a political party, we’re a folk rock band. That’s the lyrics to a song that you’re reading. Having said that, we did mention Donald Trump in the third verse and if it was ourselves who put the idea of a wall in his head, we apologise.”

We tried to reach someone in Derry for comment but they all said they had enough to be worrying about.


  1. “A traditionalist group campaigning on an isolationist platform that seeks to put Donegal first”! Haha fuckin quality opeinig line! Wouldn’t it be great if the press got hold of this thinking it was real. CNN tomorrow boys

  2. Update: Goats Dont Shave will give a press conference in The Button Factory in Dublin on Saturday 28th January ahead of their performance at Temple Bar TradFest. Doors will be at 8pm, tickets are still available.