There is huge controversy in the land today after it was announced that the Russian Olympic team has won the All Ireland GAA Senior Football Championship.
In what can only be described as an extraordinary result, the Russian Federation’s team were awarded the Sam Maguire Cup late last night in a smokey backroom of the Olympic village beating counties Mayo, Tipperary, Dublin, and Kerry, respectively.
A spokesperson for the sovereign state in northern Eurasia told Donegal Dollop; “Da, vee are exceptionally pleased weeth this fair result which has been bestowed on our great country, comrade.”
“Naturally, vee are not surprised to have beaten our inferior competitors, even though the Football final doesn’t take place for another five weeks”, he added.
The Russian Olympic team’s most recent win is not the first achievement at the 2016 Rio Olympics to raise questions about unsporting behaviour. Since the games began at the beginning of the month, the Russian Federation has won Gold and other awards in fencing, judo, tiddly-winks, egg & spoon race, tractor trailer reversing, RTÉ’s Winning Streak, the Gweedore Credit Union’s annual draw, and brown envelope delivery.