“The Turf’s quite dry the year,” according to bog men and women all over Donegal.

Nobody’s quite sure on the exact level of aridity of the popular peat product, but local suggestions on the levels of dryness include:

•Dryer than a badger’s gowl
•At least as dry as the toast on a pilgrimage to Lough Derg
•Dryer than the driest dry shite from up th’on way
•Dry as fuck
•Chomh tirim mar bhuidéal ginger ale

When asked whether the dryness of the turf will last, one of the bog men questioned told us that all it takes is “one heavy shower and the whole sodding lot’s as wet as a pair of knickers at a Daniel O’Donnell concert”.

We’ll bring you more on the story as we hear it.