A clueless Donegal man has set World War III in motion after claiming on Facebook that he has ‘the best girlfriend in the world’.
Facebook user, Charlie Cuckold, made the outrageous declaration on Sunday morning after his girlfriend of two months brought him a lukewarm cup of tea and slice of soggy toast in bed.
Mr Cuckold, from Fanad, then took to social media to announce that he solely was in possession of ‘the best girlfriend in the world’, unwittingly insulting every female partner on Earth, even the really shitty ones who embarrass you in front of friends or stab you in your sleep.
An initial period of quiet annoyance was held by Mr Cuckold’s female online friends, before feelings of irritation filtered out into the real world, spreading locally through word of mouth. By 4pm on Monday afternoon, civil unrest was in the air, with passive-aggressive tutting being heard vehemently throughout the county.
At 7pm on Monday evening, martial law was declared after a wave of effeminate animosity swept the country, causing boyfriends and husbands to clumsily seek shelter in attics and garden sheds across the land.
As of time of writing, humanity is firmly in Global turmoil with exasperated women all over the universe, fuming that some other bitch, (probably with a fat arse), is considered way better than them, and will presumably get married before they do.