By now, you will all be sick of hearing about #BREXIT, the super-trendy media name given to the UK’s marginally-successful referendum on leaving the European Union. In a fortnight of political mayhem, many experts have speculated what this will mean for the UK and EU, but most importantly, Donegal. Well wonder no further, as the intellectuals here at Donegal Dollop have summarised the effects of this tumultuous decision in our quick reference guide below.
Naturally, the first thing that springs to peoples’ minds is the possibility of a UK border being reestablished, effectively destroying years of wary peace between the Nordie bit and the Republic. The restriction on freedom of movement and placing a militarised border, is just too great a threat to the peace process, so a border will not be authorised. Except of course for Dunfanaghy, which will build a massive, orange wall around the town, just to keep the dirty Fenians out.
With the UK no longer a part of the European Union, strict measures will be taken on immigrants entering the British Isles. A result of this will be the restriction on Donegal people traveling to London to ‘do shuttering’. This in turn will affect their ability to be sad and lonely for their homeland, and sing about it at 4am outside a Kebab shop in King’s Cross.
Economically, #BREXIT will have dire consequences on the county. Nordies will no longer wish to visit Donegal, flaunting their Sterling. Currently, the Pound is at an all-time low of only being worth €286.67, 15 heifers, 8 Crolly Dolls and a 4 Lanterns Dinner Box.
One huge concern for the UK and their decision to leave the EU, was bureaucrats in Brussels and their legislation to ban bendy bananas in the European community. Many economists feared black market bananas imported from Britain could upset the status quo in the county. Fortunately, Donegal people don’t actually eat bananas of any gradient, instead relying on their daily potassium intake from a big bottle of ‘McDaid’s Banana Drink’.