A Donegal scientist has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Physiology and Medicine for his work in identifying the gene responsible for begrudgery. The news was announced this morning at the Nobel Forum in Stockholm and was met with feigned celebration from the Irish academic community.

“Good for him,” said one researcher from University College Cork who asked not to be named, “His work wouldn’t really be my cup of tea, but I guess the judges saw it differently. Whatever, I don’t care, good for him.”

The begrudgery gene is responsible for feelings of resentment whenever friends, relatives, neighbours, and people you don’t even know that well achieve success or wealth in their lives; it is particularly prevalent among the indigenous Irish population.

Professor Hapl O’Group, from Raphoe, was delighted to accept the prestigious award, having spent a lifetime working in the field researching genes peculiar to the Irish people. The Professor said he will use the prize money to fund future research investigating the genes for cynicism, cronyism, and economic shortsightedness.