No group is claiming responsibility for a collection of toys found near a pram outside the Northern Irish Assembly at Stormont today, as the political crisis gripping the North’s power-sharing executive takes hold.

A local dog-walker raised the alarm in the early hours of this morning, after spotting a Buttercrane Shopping Centre pram along the Stormont Driveway. Security services were quick to the scene and in a manner of minutes, discovered that lying on the ground near the pram, were the following toys:

• Union-Jack coloured rattles
• Villiers doll
• Children’s bible
• Toy Loudspeaker
• Broken Fisher-Price Record

The toys have been removed from the scene for a forensic examination and the police have launched a full investigation.

Elsewhere, Arlene Foster has been spotted crying in the playpen of a shopping centre, after being left behind by her DUP Mawmee and Dawh’dee.