Bono has launched a stark warning for anyone who listens to music, claiming that levels of respect for the veteran Irish rock band is decreasing “at an alarming rate.”
According to sources, the 55 year-old frontman is calling on the government to issue U2’s entire back catalogue to every primary school in Ireland, to counteract the threat of apathy the young ones have towards the Irish rock band.
As a result, the “U2 Is the Most Amazing Band in the World” Educational Grant is understood to be before the cabinet at the moment for inclusion in next month’s budget. The grant will see all 13 of U2’s studio albums delivered to every school in Ireland over the next few weeks.
“There’s a whole new generation of young people out there who simply refuse to relate to U2,” continued Bono, comparing the depletion of interest in the band to the great library at Alexandria going missing or the destruction of the city of Palmyra by Islamic State.
The claims are being made as U2 embark on their latest world tour, the “Something Something, Play a Few from Achtung Baby and the Joshua Tree” Tour.
We asked a teenager from Letterkenny what they thought of U2, to which they replied “Buckin’ Shite, Avici’s better.”