Fianna Fáil is to officially rebrand as ‘The White Catholic Heterosexual Male in the 1950s Party’, after formally adopting the policies of a typical white Catholic heterosexual male in the 1950s.

The move has been welcomed by grass roots supporters of the party who have long warned of the dangers of “reality, women, and homosexuals.”

Deputy Alistair McAmadán, TD for the constituency of Waterfeckineejit, revealed the new name for the party during a press conference in which the party also confirmed they do not support the repeal of the 8th amendment.

This comes shortly after the resignation of potential high-profile female candidates and, at best, lukewarm levels of support for the marriage equality referendum.

“We need people to be assured that we don’t have any of those women or homosexual things in our ranks,” said a party spokesperson, adding that “the older white Catholic heterosexual men in Ireland know what’s best for everyone…even those dirty protestants.”

It is believed that the body of Archbishop John Charles McQuaid will be exhumed to lead the party into the next general election.