An Irish man by the name of Brien O’Denis has been officially awarded the Nation’s Favourite Asshole Award 2015.
The coveted title, granted to people who excel in the art of squatting down and defecating over an entire country, will be officially awarded tonight at a civic reception in Tramore, Waterford.
Many are expected to be in attendance at tonight’s event, including Vladimir Putin, Citizen Kane, Rasputin the Mystic Monk, and Lord Voldemort.
Mr. O’Denis, who first rose to national prominence when he stole two paper cups and a piece of string off a couple of children and claimed to have invented the mobile phone, is receiving the award for swinging his slightly less than medium-sized phallus in the direction of anyone who mentions his name.
Reacting to the news, a spokesperson for Mr. O’Denis said the rich wastard was “pure delighted” while demanding that nobody mention his name ever again.