As the crisis talks on the future of Greece in the Eurozone continues, news is emerging that the uncertainty over a potential ‘Grexit’ is to be decided once and for all, over a game of rock-paper-scissors.
Ireland’s Finance Minister Michael Noonan is said to be ready to battle in the ancient Chinese art with the Greek Finance Minister and self-professed adult, Yanis Varoufakis.
Sources close to the ruling Syriza government say they are close to accepting an offer by the IMF and the EU to change the format of the game to “rock-rock-hardplace,” provided the game is a best of one hundred and fifty, as opposed to a simple best of three.
It is hoped this new format will ensure that the game continues for at least another eight years (or EU summits), allowing enough time for the can, in Noonan’s words, “to be kicked to feck from Athens to Frankfurt fifty times over.”
Rock-paper-scissors was a popular game in Ireland, until children’s TV presenter Mary Fitzgerald came along and banned all scissor use unless there was an adult present, something Christine Lagarde from the IMF is insisting on for this latest bout.