Artist's Impression of new go-faster stripes...
Artist’s Impression of new go-faster stripes.

All buses that take the Donegal faithful to mass every Sunday are to have go-faster stripes stuck onto them, in an attempt to reduce the overall time it takes to make the five-minute journey to the church from thirty minutes, to five minutes.

The stripes, specially commissioned for the weekly mass run, will be made at a top-secret location in one of the disused factories in the Gweedore Industrial Estate.

It is believed that the same “magic powder”, used to make buses travel to Dublin in under five hours, will be used on the go-faster stickers and their production is expected to commence by the end of the month.

Jimmy na Rudaí, chair of Gweedore Chamber of Commerce, told Donegal Dollop that if this pilot is successful, these stripes would eventually “revolutionize the amount of the time it takes to transport the ten or so people to Mass every Sunday,” and even went on to suggest that eventually, the technology would be rolled out to every parish in Ireland.

We spoke to one local, Maggie Scrístdé, who was pure delighted at the news. “Jeesh, tá seo great altogether – I’ll be home in five minutes without going on a buckin’ tour of the county” she explained.