Is this thing on?
Is this thing on?

The Irish political world was left reeling this morning after it was revealed that Minister for Agriculture, Food, and the Marine, Simon Coveney, is, in fact, straight.

It had long been suspected that Coveney, who is married with three children, might be heterosexual, but it was only this morning during a heartfelt interview on National radio that those suspicions were finally confirmed.

“I am a straight man,” said Coveney on RTÉ Radio One this morning, “but it’s not something that defines me.” The Minister, who is touted by many as a future leader of Fine Gael, claims he felt compelled to make the announcement in order to reassure voters that as a straight man he did not have any sort of hidden agenda when it comes to issues that directly effect Irish heterosexuals.

Several notable public figures have praised the Minister for his bravery and say it could encourage other public figures to come out as straight. In the same interview, Coveney also went on to describe the difficult moment when he first told his parents he supported Fine Gael.