Iona's first documented married homosexual...
Iona’s first documented married homosexual…

Saint Columba of Iona, originally from Gartan and also known as Saint Colm Cille, was involved in a homosexual relationship with the Scottish pagan King, Bridei, according to an ancient manuscript recently excavated from the site of his monastery on the island of Iona, off the coast of Scotland.

The manuscript, believed to be written at the hands of the Iona Saint himself, spoke of a deep Christian love he held for the King, whom he regarded as his “one true companion” during his time in Scotland. in those days, the word “companion” was, of course, taken in its literal meaning, of “spouse”.

Even though Bridei was a pagan, who probably did not believe in marriage to one person given he remained unconverted to Christianity during his relationship with the Gartan Saint, the manuscript suggests that he liked nothing more than “laying down with Columba” after a rough day tending to the Scottish Kingdom from his base at Inverness. A verse in the manuscript seems to allude very strongly to this:

“Columba, Columba, I bloody luv ya, you’re the one fur ma, said the king”

Historians believe this puts an entirely new complexion on the gay marriage debate now that Christianity itself has its first example of an actual homosexual marriage which didn’t bring down society as we know it, given Columba went on to found many monasteries.

The scientific community has verified this latest find as absolutely genuine and have stated beyond all doubt that allowing same-sex marriage is no threat to man-woman marriage.