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Bhriste - with a chroi bhriste...
Bhriste - with a chroi bhriste...

“Windows 8 is Buckin’ Shite,” Says Donegal Woman

Bhriste – with a chroi bhriste…

A retired Donegal teacher has lashed out at the new Windows 8 operating system, calling it “a load a buckin’ shite”.

Mhary Bhriste, 75 from Keeldrum, said the new operating system is a load of balls. “I liked having the Shtart menu in the corner but now the screen itself is the feckin Shtart menu, and if you don’t like an mhuintir phink and phurple, you’re fucked” she went on to say.

“I look at my shcreen now and I’m expected to read my tweets, emails, facebook notifications, the lotto…and the buckin’ weather too, all at the same time,” she said, preferring the old Windows 7 user interface which allowed users to look at individual windows.

“And if that’s not enough you can’t close the windows anymore, you have to strategically place your mouse with fractional precision in the centre of the screen until you see a wee hand, before swiping it down like a numpty, as if you were closing the roller blinds on a nosey neighbour” she said, disgusted that she’ll no longer be able to surf the internet with minimum fuss.

“Tá mó chroí bhriste leis, everything is its own TV programme now on the screen” she continued before warning us “not to get her started on that stupid cloud.”

About Charlie Pterosaur

Squatter in the derelict house at Termon that for years had the words 'Bord Fáilte Approved Piddle Stop' painted on the side. Freelancing since getting the sack from an Irish Sunday tabloid for pointing out how incredibly fucking dull exaggerated crime-reporting is.

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