Donegal will no longer be stuck for a decent news website….

Donegal is buzzing today at news that five BRAND NEW online news portals are going live to cope with the ever-increasing volume of banal statements being released by Donegal politicians.

The five main political parties will each have a new online news website for Donegal, with important and ground-breaking journalism delivering the latest opinions of our elected/unelected politicians from Buncrana to Ballyshannon.

The Dollop has also learned that Donegal is to get its very own domain called ‘.donegal’ to host these boundary-pushing bastions of the new journalistic integrity.

Sing Fein will lead off with its very own online Donegal news website called “www.wile-amportant-stuff.donegal.”

Wine Gael is opting for a more subtle tone to its online news portal, designed to disguise its very conservative stance on social issues. It will be called ‘www.abortgaymarriage.com’.

Fianna Fail (no fada) and the Irish Slave-Labour Party are going with ‘www.dead.donegal’ and ‘www.redanddead.donegal’ respectively, leaving the technical group with ‘www.newsforhornysocialists.donegal’, though that website isn’t expected to have many subscribers in a county that is 100% tax compliant.

Once live, the websites will be able to channel the inner thoughts of Donegal politicians and create a news story out of it, from everything as complex as the latest Directive from the European Union to simpler matters such as whether a packet of rich tea biscuits can be submitted as an expense.