Court artist’s impression of Midge Pishop

A Letterkenny judge today heard a woman plead guilty, not guilty, not guilty, guilty, insanity and not guilty, for the crime of ‘wrecking the joint’, The woman in question, Midge Pishop of Kilmacrennan, is charged with causing criminal damage to her snuff shop.

Mrs. Pishop, who suffers from multiple-personality disorder, has also been charged with aiding and abetting herself in causing damage to her business premises, Snuff Said. 

In an exclusive interview with Donegal Dollop, Midge said “I didn’t do anything. Yes you did, If I am going down you are coming with me. Fuck you, I am doing a runner. Here, who wrecked me flippin’ snuff shop?”

In regard to the bizarre charge of aiding and abetting herself, she remarked, “I handed her the baseball bat yeah, but I didn’t know she was going to wreck the joint. You lying bitch, you said here you go, smash the place up. No, I did not. I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to that two-faced cow. I’m two-faced? You’re one to talk.”

The judge, who was sober, told the court that “this is the most fucked-up case I have come across in my two weeks as a judge.” He then set the trial date for “some time in the near future,” insisting that each of Mrs Pishop’s personalities be tried separately.