Donegal’s first ever naturist beach (or nudist beach to uncouth philistines) has been announced for Carrigart and an application has gone in for a prestigious ‘Betty Blue Flag’ to formally ratify the decision.

From 1st July, naturists (the mature term for people who like going around with no clothes on) can enjoy a safe open space on Carrigart Strand where their knobs, knockers, spots, warts, funny bits, danglies, big and roundies, small and curlies, dongs, lumps, bumps, and frumps can relax in the healing freshness of the Sheephaven wind.

Donegal County Council have issued a stark warning to the Donegal Peeping-Tom Peoples’ Guild to keep away from the site, unless they want to get ’em off and join in on the naturist fun; however, Donegal Dollop has learned from talking to Jack Hammer‘s sources in the Guild that they’ve no interest in such activities since there is freely available voyeurism of the internet (where they can peep on the bits of men and women all over the world, especially Brazil).

County tan rates are not expected to increase with this move and chemists are not stocking up on extra sun block to any extent, as one chemist we spoke to put it, “no need sir, they’re white and pasty indoors or out.” Donegal bogs will, however, retain strict vest-top-wearing regulations, lest the grade A heritage-listed bogman’s tan be affected.

6 COMMENTS

  1. Dunfanaghy will be most upset. Surely they cater for the weird, rather than the traditional, end of the tourist market much more than Carrigart ever has?

  2. What the hell has this county come to! It’s a bloody disgrace, I walk that strand at least once a year and I do not want to be confronted by the sight of John Thomas and his saggy boobed wife frolicking on the sand. I’m ringing joe Duffy!