The Road Safety Authority announced today that during Donegal’s recent heatwave, minor road traffic accidents increased by 80%.

Speaking from his bubble-wrapped cubicle in the RSA offices in Lifford, Tiomas O’Curama claimed the roads of Donegal had been filled with comedic minor collisions over the weekend as local aul’ boys, unused to seeing skimpy clothing and female skin, drove hilariously into the backs of other road users and up one way streets.

Donegal Dollop spoke with some members of the public who were involved in the humorous accidents across the County:

Van driver, Willie Mc Arder, said “I was driving through Castlefin with a delivery of chocolate eclairs, when I spied this quare looking bird in tight shorts and a vest top, well next thing I know, I’m in a hedge with whipped cream all over my face and wiping my eyes clean one at a time in a bemused fashion!”

Another motorist, Pat Lightley, told how he spotted a woman in Dunfanaghy wearing a skirt and boob-tube while eating a ripe pear, resulting in him driving up a ramp into the open back of a removals lorry.

Moville motorcyclist, Roger Alnight, also had an unfortunate incident. “I was driving through Grainne’s Gap to get to Muff when I noticed this fine wee cuddy standing on the roadside wearing cut-off jeans and a bikini top, well I drove right off the road and into a lake,” he exclaimed. “I had plenty of time to stop but I wanted to see how it was going to turn out,” he added.

RSA spokesman, O’ Curama, confirmed that no injuries occurred during the minor accidents but failed to reveal if the accidents also included a Sid James laugh followed by a Swanee whistle.

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