Fine Gael have today announced plans to once again table the issue of partition with the British government next time the two meet for talks. It is thought that the move is an attempt to win over cynical Republicans who may doubt the party’s commitment to issues involving the occupied territories.

“A lot of people think we don’t care about our brothers and sisters in the North,” said Minister for Unification, Seamus O’Gormgeansaí, “but I can assure you, Fine Gael has long been committed to the goal of a united Ireland and we believe that reclaiming Donegal will serve as a positive step towards achieving this goal.”

However, a survey on the issue carried out at last year’s Fine Gael Ard Fheis suggests that the party may be out of step with their core voter base. “I don’t want anything to do with them, to be honest,” said Crochur from Ballsbridge, “it’s no business of ours what happens up there in Britain, why should we have to deal with all of their problems?” he added, before cycling off on his penny farthing bicycle.

Other Fine Gael supporters seem less opposed to the idea but have still voiced a certain amount of concern over the issue. “I’d be open to the idea in principle,” said Úna from Killiney, “but only if they agree to tone down the accent a bit as part of the deal.”


  1. Genuine true story: A friend of a friend was asked by a work colleague in Cork who was travelling up to Donegal for a wedding – “Do they take Euros in Donegal?”