Minister for the Gaeltacht to be Sent to the Gaeltacht to Learn Gaeilge

It has emerged this evening that neither the Senior Minister for the Gaeltacht, Heather Humphreys, nor the Junior Minister for the Gaeltacht, Joe McHugh, can actually speak Irish and that both are to be sent to Coláiste Bhríde in Read more

Fr. Padraig O Baoill Has Added To His List Of Evil

In a controversial draft of next week's Gaoth Dobhair parish newsletter, seen exclusively by Donegal Dollop, Fr. Paddy O'Boyle is set to add to his list of evil things which will henceforth be banished from the parish. Fr. Pat's pet Read more

Gaoth Dobhair Priest Urges Faithful to Stick to Catholic Exercises

A priest in Gaoth Dobhair has spoken out against heathen exercise regimes in the latest edition of the parish newsletter. Father Padraig O’Baoill took aim at Eastern practices such as yoga and t’ai chi, claiming that physical and mental Read more

Garth Brooks Impersonator Cancels Dentist Appointment

A Donegal based Garth Brooks impersonator has regretfully announced he is to cancel his upcoming dental appointment scheduled later in the month. Gareth Brookes, the Ballybofey country & western tribute act, made the sad news earlier this afternoon, after "exhausting Read more

Brazil Controversially Leave Goalkeeper Out of Squad

Posted by Jack Hammer on in News, Sport | Leave a comment
Football-Brazil-v-Germany-FIFA-World-Cup-Brazil-2014-Semi-Final-Estadio-Mineirao-Belo-Horizonte-Brazil

The Brazilian football team has been booted out of the 2014 World Cup in the semi-final stage after controversially leaving the goalkeeper out of their squad. In what can only be described as another German atrocity, the Krauts absolutely annihilated the Brazilian team in a 37-1 trouncing. Brazil manager, Luiz Felipe Scolari, made the questionable decision to play the semi-final match without a player, after seeing the Eurovision episode of Father Ted. Scolari told Donegal Dollop; “Our country wasted millions… Read More

Christian Cake Refused Bed at Homosexual Guesthouse

Posted by Fintan O'Toolbox on in Ecumenical Matters, News | Leave a comment
ss

A Christian cake has been refused service at a homosexual guesthouse in Donegal in a case that could test the country’s controversial ‘freedom of ill-informed beliefs’ law. Under the law, a vendor is allowed to refuse a patron service if said patron exhibits any traits that conflict with the ill-informed beliefs of the vendor. In this particular instance, it is thought that the homosexual guesthouse may mistakenly believe Jesus Christ of Nazareth to have been homophobic. “This is a actually a… Read More

Nationwide Relief as Garth Brooks Irish Concerts Moved to Aviva Stadium

Posted by Charlie Pterosaur on in Business, Entertainment, Lifestyle, News | Leave a comment
Where the Chianti Drowns and the Heino Chases...

Millions of country music fans in Ireland (along with the handful of fans that live inside The Pale) are reacting with a level of trepidation at news that the upcoming Garth Brooks concerts due to take place at Croke Park have been moved instead to the Aviva Stadium at Lansdowne Road. In a last minute effort to ensure that the millions of fans who bought tickets to the overweight hill-billy get their night out up in Dublin, Dún-Laoghaire Rathdown Council has… Read More

Donegal Man Andy Murray Back to Being Scottish after Wimbledon Defeat

Posted by Charlie Pterosaur on in News, Sport | Leave a comment
murray

Andy Murray is back to being Scottish after a straight sets defeat at Wimbledon today to Bulgarian 11th Seed, Grigor Dimitrov. The announcement was made earlier by the British Lawn Tennis Association who stated that “with immediate effect, former British Wimbledon champion Andy Murray resumes his role as a Scottish tennis player.” Moments after the defeat, BBC commentators began the highly specialised task of identifying the deficiencies in Murray’s game, concluding that “the reason he lost was his Rab C…. Read More

Gardaí Defend Removal of Denise Huxtable from The Cosby Show

Posted by Jack Hammer on in Crime, Entertainment, Lifestyle, News | Leave a comment
the-cosby-show

A report into the unlawful removal of Denise Huxtable from The Cosby Show by Gardaí last year shows the Gardaí are wile eejits altogether. In October, during a repeat of The Cosby Show on Network 2, Gardaí observed that Denise Huxtable, the second daughter of the sweater-wearing Brooklyn doctor Bill Cosby, was “significantly paler” than her Afro-American siblings. Immediately following this, a task force was assembled to retrieve the “whitish” Huxtable from the horrors of living with an upper middle… Read More

Sarah Jessica Parker’s Annual Privacy-Invasion Festival Continues

Posted by Jack Hammer on in Entertainment, Lifestyle, News, Weather and Travel | Leave a comment
Sarah Jessica Parker

Great news for the town of Kilcar and the local Donegal media as the annual Sarah Jessica Parker Privacy-Invasion Festival kicked off at the weekend. Sarah Jessica Parker has been visiting Donegal for many years with her husband, Inspector Gadget, and in the past has even taken her Hollywood friends,  Dr. Huxtable and Lion-O from the Thundercats. The Sex and the City star loves nothing better than visiting the area during the summer and having locals take dodgy camera-phone photos… Read More

Older Pure Conjecture...