Teacher Talks Breakthrough as Students Agree to Correct Their Own Exam Papers

There has been a breakthrough in talks between the Department of Education and teachers over proposed changes to the Junior Cycle. A compromise has been reached whereby students will correct their own exam papers, ensuring full impartiality of Ireland's teachers Read more

Dublin’s Coláiste Eoin Releases "Gay Cross Code" for Bullies of LGBT Students

A Dublin secondary school has been attracting heavy criticism over the formulation of a new code of conduct for bullies of LGBT students, called “The Gay Cross Code”. Coláiste Eoin in Stillorgan was due to host a free workshop by Read more

Greek Yogurt to Form New Political Party in Ireland

In news which is sure to rock Ireland's political landscape, it has been revealed that a Greek Yogurt has plans to obliterate the government in the next general election. It is believed the strained, whey-less yogurt decided to enter the Read more

Monopoly’s Pink and Orange Notes to be Introduced into EU Financial System

Money from one of the best known family board games looks set to be introduced into the European Financial System after an announcement by the European Central Bank (ECB) earlier today. Announcing the measures, ECB President Mario Draghi stated that Read more

The Sun to Publish Massive Tits on its Front Cover

Posted by Charlie Pterosaur on in Business, Lifestyle, News | Leave a comment
Four Huge Tits...

The Sun newspaper is set to publish new pictures of massive tits on its front cover, ending rumours that the newspaper had decided to drop a long standing British convention. The cover is expected later this week. The move is being taken to re-launch topless models, from the traditional page three, to their new home on page four. “We want people to work for their thrill by turning that one extra page to reveal a nice big pair of bazumbas,”… Read More

UTV Ireland Blamed for Deirdre Barlow Demise

Posted by Charlie Pterosaur on in Entertainment, News | Leave a comment
"Our Tracey" wasn't available for comment...

A Donegal man has lashed out at UTV Ireland, blaming the new station for the demise of his favourite Coronation Street character, Deirdre Barlow. 58-year-old Seimí “na Soaps” Boyle, from Lifford, made the comments directly to his television set while watching last night’s episode of the long-running fictional British soap opera. In his comments, Boyle claimed that the arrival of UTV Ireland on the scene had similar timing to the departure of the Deirdre Barlow character from the soap, and… Read More

Troika In Dublin to Explain Exact Spot They Fucked Ireland

Posted by Charlie Pterosaur on in Business, History and Politics, News | Leave a comment
Christine Lagarde waves a big dildo during her bailout review presentation...

Head of the IMF Christine Lagarde is in Dublin today to show the exact spot in which the Troika repeatedly fucked Ireland during its five year bailout programme. She is attending a special conference to review Ireland’s experience of the international bailout in which the wealthy interests of European financial institutions got Ireland to bend over and take “a good, hard pounding” in the form of massive cuts to vital services, cement-pouring of toxic debt onto Ireland’s citizens and smug… Read More

Straight Politicians Told to Desperately Find Something Interesting About Themselves

Posted by Charlie Pterosaur on in History and Politics, News | 1 Comment
LGBT Visibility...

In the wake of some very positive publicity for Minister for Health Leo Varadkar, after publicly coming out as a gay man on the Miriam radio show earlier today, the leaders of the main opposition parties have told their straight members to “desperately find something interesting to say about themselves”. Immediately following the programme in which Leo Varadkar spoke of how being a gay man did not define him, the Dollop has it on good authority that the following joint-memo… Read More

Irish Minister Comes Out as Straight

Posted by Fintan O'Toolbox on in History and Politics | Leave a comment
Is this thing on?

The Irish political world was left reeling this morning after it was revealed that Minister for Agriculture, Food, and the Marine, Simon Coveney, is, in fact, straight. It had long been suspected that Coveney, who is married with three children, might be heterosexual, but it was only this morning during a heartfelt interview on National radio that those suspicions were finally confirmed. “I am a straight man,” said Coveney on RTÉ Radio One this morning, “but it’s not something that… Read More

Paul O’Connell Initiates Two Year Retirement Announcement Plan

Posted by Charlie Pterosaur on in News, Sport | Leave a comment
Will he, won't he" (2015), "Will he, won't he" (2016), etc.

Munster and Ireland rugby player, Paul O’Connell, has embarked on his own version of a two year plan to announce his retirement from the game. The thirty-five-year-old stated earlier that he intends to announce his retirement from the game at some point over the next couple of years, ending rumours that his retirement rumours are premature. “I don’t know for definite at this stage, but I definitely want to follow in the footsteps of the great Brian O’Driscoll, who took… Read More

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