Bottle of Wine Apparition at Kerrytown Grotto

The small Donegal village of Kerrytown is up in holy arms tonight as a bottle of white wine appeared on the shrine of Holy Mary. The bottle, a 2012 8.99 euro bottle of 'Vive Le Plonc' available in most local Read more

Pharrell Williams' Tears Not Caused by Donegal But by Weight of Giant Hat

A startling revelation has come to light today, about the truth behind musician Pharrell Williams' shed tears on a recent episode of Oprah, which featured a compilation of videos including a clip filmed in Donegal. The chart-topping star appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Read more

New Poll Puts Putin Approval Rating at 368%

A new independent poll has put Russian President Vladimir Putin's approval rating at 368%, the highest level since his alleged altercation with Grigori Rasputin in 1916, the year he become Russian president. The independent poll, taken by an independent polling Read more

Outrage as Pharrell's 'Happy' Paired with Suspected Holocaust Footage

More controversy has hit the Internet today over the self-important news of an Internet video that shows suspected Holocaust footage paired with the hit song, 'Happy' by Pharrell Williams. Earlier today, social media went crazy when an anonymous source uploaded Read more

Lilt to Sponsor Sky Coverage of GAA Matches

Posted by Charlie Pterosaur on in Business, News, Sport | Leave a comment
Pish!

Coca-Cola have announced that their flagship tropical flavoured drink, “Lilt”, will sponsor all Sky coverage of G.A.A matches in 2014, after the signing of a lucrative, totally tropical deal this morning. It is understood that Sky senior executives’ first choice was for more well-known English brands such as Pimms or Robinson’s Special R, but after realising the effect that might have on traditional G.A.A supporters, decided to opt for the liquid staple popular with thousands outside the Pale instead. For… Read More

“Not Coming Home, Bitches” – President Higgins

Posted by Charlie Pterosaur on in History and Politics, News | Leave a comment
The pres, innit. [pic copyrighted to Michael Donnelly Photography]

President of Ireland, Michael D. Higgins, has informed the Department of Foreign Affairs that he will not be returning to Ireland when his current visit to the UK ends, opting instead for a new life as a hipster in the trendy Dalston area of London. After his final engagement with the Lord Mayor of Coventry later today, himself and Sabina will board a plane at Coventry airport that will bring him back to London City Airport. From there, they will… Read More

Shock: Wedding Features No Singing Priests, Choreographed Dancing or Surprises

Posted by Jack Hammer on in Ecumenical Matters, Lifestyle, News, Uncategorized | Leave a comment
Wedding photo

The world was shocked by news of a recent wedding that occurred in Donegal, that didn’t feature any attention-seeking, fame-hungry stunts or gimmicks. The wedding, which took place in Bundoran at the weekend, was a low key affair featuring only a small number of family and friends of the bride and groom. The nuptials went smoothly however, some guests were shocked to discover that the marriage and reception did not feature any YouTube upload-worthy content at all. One exasperated guest… Read More

Queen Congratulates Irish President on Successful Sex Change

Posted by Charlie Pterosaur on in History and Politics, News | Leave a comment
"One thinks you've also shrunk"

Queen Elizabeth has congratulated Irish president Michael D. Higgins on a successful sex change operation, after meeting him on his state visit to Great Britain. The British monarch, who last met an Irish president as a feisty catholic lady called Mary McAleese, is understood to be very impressed at how the Uachtarán has taken to being a “man president” so quickly. She is especially grateful for his more neutral-coloured “man” choices of attire, as her eyes no longer cast their… Read More

Donegal Unaffected by Irish Rail Scam Scheme

Posted by Fintan O'Toolbox on in Business, Crime, News | Leave a comment
We're not sure if this is an 'Irish Rail' train or a 'Complete Savings' train, we can't say for certain

Irish Rail have drawn criticism both in print media and on national radio in recent weeks for exposing their customers to what some have described as “a cynical post-transaction marketing scam scheme” aimed at duping consumers while they’re simply trying to purchase rail tickets. Thankfully, Donegal has not been affected by the controversy in any way, shape, or form on account of there not being one single metre of functional railway throughout the entire county. However, we at the Dollop… Read More

Non-Expert Bloggers in Complete Agreement on Climate Change Conspiracy

Posted by Fintan O'Toolbox on in News, Science and Technology, Weather and Travel | Leave a comment
World-famous hipster, Banksy, was recently revealed to be on the New World Order payroll...

A group of non-expert bloggers met on Twitter this morning to present a unified front on the issue of climate change. The group claim unequivocally that the current scientific consensus on the issue is an elaborate conspiracy engineered by corrupt government leaders at the behest of the Rothschild family. The non-expert group say the policies currently being sought by government leaders are nothing more than a shameless attempt to line their own pockets by raising taxes and imposing levies on… Read More

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