“Donegal Daily Readership Tops 80 Trillion” - Says Google Arse

There are scenes of what can only be described as incredulous jubilation at the offices of our slightly bizarre adopted cousin of a conjecture site, "Donegal Daily" this evening, at claims that their website of locally cobbled Donegal news “stories” Read more

Mary Lou McDonald Claims “S Claus” on Ansbacher Naughty List

Sinn Féin's deputy leader Mary Lou McDonald has today read out the name of an “S Claus” as being on a controversial list of alleged Ansbacher deposit account holders put forward by a whistle-blower. She made the sensational claims in Read more

Donegal Dollop Fans: Luke 'Ming' Flanagan MEP

Luke 'Ming' Flanagan MEP popped into Dollop Towers last night to chat about our grant application for a 4,861 km² roof to cover Donegal. While he was here, he took a break from his European Minister-ing duties to put his feet Read more

Falcarragh's 'Pete the Sheepdog' to Release Book About His Travels

Pete the Sheepdog, who went missing in the community a fortnight ago and returned a week later, is to release a book about the adventures he had on his travels. The 10-year-old sheepdog from Falcarragh, disappeared on November 3rd, causing Read more

Donegal Water Charge Protesters Regret Picking Tonight for 24hr Camp Out

Posted by Jack Hammer on in History and Politics, Lifestyle, News | Leave a comment
wet crowd

Just a few hours into their 24 hour demonstration, the Donegal water charges protesters have admitted that they picked a bad night for it. Shivering outside the office of Fine Gael TD, Joe McHugh, one protester said, “Fluke this for a carry on, I’m bloody soaked and freezing me goolies off!” The organisers say they chose tonight to camp outside the Junior Minister’s office for 24 hours because, when they checked this morning’s weather, they reckoned it was a “grand… Read More

ISIS Militants Trap Iraqi Minister in Car For Two Hours

Posted by Fintan O'Toolbox on in History and Politics, News | Leave a comment
isis-army-700x430

There were violent scenes near the Baiji oil refinery in Iraq this morning after Deputy Prime Minister Saleh al-Mutlaq was attacked with a water balloon by ISIS militants during an official visit to the region. Unfortunately, the terror did not stop there. Al-Mutlaq managed to dry himself off and retreat to the relative safety of his State vehicle, but only before it was besieged by scores of militants who proceeded to bang on the roof, shout insults, and delay his… Read More

AMAZING Colour Personality Test

Posted by Charlie Pterosaur on in Health and Education, Lifestyle | Leave a comment
colour

You are a boring wastard! Rite?

Mary Lou Replaces Twink as Pantomime Dame

Posted by Charlie Pterosaur on in Entertainment, History and Politics, Lifestyle, News | Leave a comment
Gerry? OH NO HE WASN'T...

Mary Lou McDonald has been chosen to replace Twink as the panto dame in Jack and the Beanstalk at University College Hall Limerick. The deputy leader of Sinn Féin will replace Adele “Zip up yer Micky-Where’s My Dog-My Heart’s Broken into a Billion Pieces” King (otherwise known as ‘Twink’), who has been released from her role due to “contractual and artistic differences”. McDonald is expected to take on the role of the pantomime Dame, sitting on the stage floor shouting at… Read More

“No Ways Left to Fuck You Ireland”, Troika Conclude Visit

Posted by Charlie Pterosaur on in Business, News | 1 Comment
The poets of finance...

The Troika have concluded the second of their post-bailout missions to Ireland by stating that they are completely out of ways to fuck over the people of Ireland. “After ramming it into every orifice of every single one of you, we just can’t think of any more ways to impose unfair budget cuts and tax impositions,” said Dick Shmegbucher, leader of this latest mission. “We had thought about taxing the hairs on your back, but decided against it on the… Read More

Sinn Féin Attack Bob Geldof for Band Aid 30 Snub

Posted by Charlie Pterosaur on in Entertainment, History and Politics, News | Leave a comment
Tiocfaidh ar falalalala lala lala...

Sinn Féin has attacked Bob Geldof’s Band Aid 30 for not including any of its members in the line-up of vocalists for the 2014 inception of Do They Know Its Christmas. The comments were made at a party meeting in which Sinn Féin’s longer term strategy of scoring a Christmas number one in 1916 was discussed. “This is just another example of West-Brit establishment spin and media bias against Sinn Féin,” said a party spokesperson, who explained that “Gerry Adams had… Read More

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